What if we had power over CHOICE, will we choose to have it or rather not?
They say Ga women are quarrelsome; I do not disagree, what’s in the blood is in the blood, but I’m different, you know, I’m an educated and civilized Ga girl. It cost me, you know? Coming to think of it, if this bond really meant “the world” to him like he made me believe, he wouldn’t have given up, especially not now.
The issue of mother’s prejudiced worldview keeps bringing me back to Square 1, and at that point, I begin to wonder if it was necessary I run the cycle again and again. It’s exhausting.
“He’s an Ewe man. No matter how good and well to do he seems, he’ll end up with his own. Ewe people are self-centered you know”
“How do you erase a leopard’s spots? It’s an exceptional case if he is deeply rooted in God’s business and loves the Lord. Then, you know he can handle his inborn faintness from a true Christian perspective, and not necessarily tribal”
When I came to the realization that Elorm was a suitable man, I decided he’ll be the last of the maybe-mother-wouldn’t-mind train. No. Was I doing wrong or plain stupid to have thought mother would BE NICE? Interestingly, father is a 50% Ewe man – “he is only half an Ewe man and not fully. Are you trying to tell your mother she made the wrong choice giving birth to such fine specimen?”
Flattered. Hah! Mother.
If I told you mother was being narrow-minded, you would’ve thought of me a stubborn daughter, ungrateful perhaps. You see, we were taught to respect and honor the elderly, but this baffles me. Doesn’t mother care about my happiness? Doesn’t she see me getting old, alone? Why do the Ewe men keep finding me all the time? Why do I keep falling in love with them? It’s crazy. Whoosh!
Okay, so back to why I said my Ga-ness cost me. Elorm wasn’t aware of mother’s distaste for Ewe men as suitors for her daughters, I intentionally made sure he didn’t know. After 2yrs of dating, he popped the question, in church, after service, during a meeting right next to the altar. It was a big deal for us, but I couldn’t give him a straightforward response. He was a bit shaken and demanded an explanation.
ELORM: You don’t love me enough to be my wife
NAA LANKAI: It’s not that. I love you, more than enough, which is why I…
ELORM: That doesn’t make any sense Naa, are you ill or something?
NAA LANKAI: Listen! I’ll tell you later. Now is not the time. I need you to trust me on this one.
ELORM: I should have listened to my mother in the beginning, but I chose you, Naa, I chose you. Now you’re just going to leave me after 2yrs?
NAA LANKAI: What do you mean by you should have listened to your mother?
ELORM: Never mind. Are you ready to tell me now?
NAA LANKAI: Yes, when you’re ready to tell me exactly what your mother said.
ELORM: There we go again! Look closely, Naa, you don’t need to stretch this issue. Now, you’re even turning tables. I was the one you rejected with one knee on the ground in the presence of our friends, and now you act the victim? My love tolerates your petty quarrelsome tendencies, because there’s so much more to you.
NAA LANKAI: Petty quarrelsome tendencies?
ELORM: That’s all you heard?
Before he left, he asked me to give him a call, only when I’m ready, but that was exactly 5weeks and 3days ago.
What?!! Why not? I was confused and ashamed, plus mother wouldn’t give us her blessings anyway. Interestingly, he hasn’t gotten in touch yet. Perhaps I’ll find myself an European man with 0% Ewe descent – perchance mother will give us her blessings.