Your Decision Lost The Ring – Episode 4 – Joel

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You must have agreed, at some point in life that in relationships, even friendships, one person has to love the other one more. I used to think same but now, I think it’s #&^0!

I have been around the block a few times, maybe too many times, so yeah, love is like a drug and we all need it; not an overdose of it, but enough to keep us alive and not lacking of love.

Love should be mostly equal and if it’s not, the relationship cannot sustain itself. I’m still single, but I fear my supposed best friend is loosening our ring. We tend to be resilient. Sometimes, all it takes is learning the lessons contained within the failure, owning up to one’s accountability in it – hardly ever, if ever, does one partner hold all the blame. But then it’s a struggle when that one person takes the blame; a silent struggle of guilt on one end, and an obvious frequent reminder of “no it’s not you, it’s me”

Sounding like a relationship already? Friendships are relationships nonetheless.

I knew Selorm inside out, and it surprises her sometimes. It’s normal to get a bit chintzy when she falls in love. I get less attention, her responses to my WhatsApp messages are dragged, she takes him out to our favourite hangout place (I mean, who does that?! It’s supposed to be OUR THING!) SMH!!

Unlike her, I’m different, I guess. I try to find a balance for my woman and for Selorm as well. Our friendship has lasted long enough to see episodes of heartbreaks and mending on both sides until that last straw. That’s a story for another day, I’ll tell you, I promise.

But this concept of love being like a drug is realer to me today than it was a few years back. Love is a drug, but not really. You see, the same area of the brain associated with the deep craving for one’s partner in romantic love is exactly the same bundle of neurons that light up when one feels the rush of cocaine.

Hah! Certainly I didn’t fail my Science class. You don’t need to look this up on Google either.

When Selorm finally found “the one”, I knew I’d lost her. I couldn’t stick around because it was too damn painful being available for someone who already has another because maybe uhm… you had to play a peculiar role for a few years until “the one” comes into the scene. I couldn’t stick around… I wouldn’t stick around because she loves me less now (not in the romantic way), if there is any love left in our ring.

To be reminded of the inequity killed me, but softly. This is probably the most messed up phase in my life right now. Perchance I’ll find another, but none like Selorm, I know.

My name is Joel. Please don’t call me Joe. Joel works just fine, no need to omit one letter to shorten a short name.


In case you missed the last Episode of #yourdecisionlostthering, click HERE


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