CTRL X – CHAPTER 1 – “We Can Still Be Friends, Right?”
There’s a thin line between remaining friends (post-breakup friendship) with your ex and being friendly. We’ve heard it too many times – “remaining friends is a matured thing to do”. Hah! Dude. No 🙄
Perhaps the relationship ends on a good note with a mutual understanding to break it off; in this case, remaining friends is incontestable and above suspicion. In cases where the relationship ends out of displeasure, disdain, deception, money matters, ego etc, there’s grave effect on how both exes relate, are they to remain friends.
Post-breakup friendship requires doing everything and anything friends do together, apart, even together when apart – tagging each other in witty FB and IG videos, movies, teasing and the rest.
Being friendly on the other hand is void of any ulterior motives; I’ll effortlessly say hi to you when our paths cross, give you a hug not particularly warm, and not have to panic unconscientiously or shoot you (in my head) at the sight of you – relatable, isn’t it? The shooting part, I mean.
In my early dating years, (no! I’m not that old) I’ll tell my friends how I could easily cut off ties with my exes. I backed it up with statements like if it’s no longer on the plate, why stress myself to add it when there’s so much to consume? (not particularly the same words, but for fine-tuning). It was harder for me to remain friends with my exes, but being friendly comes naturally especially when the hurt heals.
Even so, a little delight in cyber stalking as a means of keeping the exes around for a while might be more tactical rather than weak. If you had a lot in common, friends and interests, tracking them on social media helps you avoid running into them at events. All I’m saying is, you’ll have to forfeit some events and places until you’re ready.
I for example am friendly with my exes except for one or two exes who got dragged by the unapologetic hand of time… and I don’t mind.
In the end, the foundation of the relationship has a strong bearing on how the exes are controlled.