The X-Club barely holds strict qualifications in the screening process to retain participants within the first 3 stages – often, the X-factor requires the prospect to just be himself. And just like a 1st Runner Up gets to be the 1st Runner Up because she didn’t emerge winner, so is The One (Ex) Who Got Away.
Have you ever been ‘almost‘ involved with that guy who checked all the boxes except that box that required he be committed, have the same religious beliefs, maybe appreciate the show love even? When it comes to The One Who Got Away, there’s always that single essential factor that should’ve completed you as a couple, but the check is either faint or nonexistent 👿
They easily qualify as active prospects of the X-Club when after months of coercing and seemingly unrealistic wishes, they are grounded in their views of themselves as ‘who they are’ –
“you know I’m a Phleg… That’s my makeup and I cannot change it”
“you tell I’m beautiful and I believe that, but there are so many very very very beautiful girls always around you that sometimes I wonder why you chose me”
“as for men, all men are the same”
Clearly you cannot change anyone, you should know this by now unless you haven’t had enough experiences or you’re lazy to learn from them.
In my early twenties, Mr. X was more or less the best prospect available . He checked all the boxes except one that had a strong influence in my life. He knew, we mentioned it a couple of times and both knew how important …checking that box meant in urging me to say YES to him. We eventually agreed staying friends was the best option for us. Our friendship was okay on the outside but deep within, I had hope that Mr. X would change but… 🙄 . I recount days when I even suggested we dated for a week or 2 max. It didn’t work.
Inasmuch as he didn’t make it to be chosen as THE ONE, you’re pretty much okay having him in the X-fraternity although you cannot help but wonder what life would’ve been like if you were still with him 🙁 . With him, you realize that there wasn’t enough ingredients to save the relationship. Maybe it was bad timing after all, and if he wasn’t the One Who Got Away… If he wasn’t in the position of the 1st Runner Up, you wouldn’t have met Mr. BF 😆
But for the sake of your soul, you’ll have to get over them; if they wanted to be with you, they wouldn’t have made excuses or dated another perhaps.
There are days when even though I’m not Beyonce “I used to want you so bad, so through with that. Cos honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had“.