CATHARSIS

It had to be an inside job… it had to. It takes an inside job to attack one so resilient to emotional injury. I mean, who gets room so freely enough to cause such trauma? It pierces too deep I cannot explain how it feels anymore because I cannot see beyond this ‘deep’.

But maybe I should thank him for breaking me; I told him he broke me but I couldn’t make him understand how.
Ms Baiden: Don’t tell me,  tell him.
Kafui: I cannot tell him. I don’t…
Ms Baiden: Raise your head, look at me and see him.
Kafui: You broke me and watched me bleed /breathes heavily/ you saw me fail to eat and effortlessly point out how I’d lost weight. You saw me fail to sleep and engaged me until you did… you slept. You slept out of this dream leaving me to live a reality where my dreams of you… for us, stays real only to me. Why should I stay out of this reality?
Maybe you did the right thing
Maybe I did the right thing
We knew… we wanted to…
Ms Baiden: Go on
Kafui: This feels cold. I don’t blame you, I knew what I was getting myself into. “No emotions”, we agreed, “it’ll complicate our friendship”. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry for manipulating you to the extent where you thought you loved me enough to hold on to me, walk me down the aisle, raise our amazing triplets together…
I knew this day will come, I just prayed over the years and wished beyond the stars that you’ll love me “like that”. What was I thinking? That the kids will divinely cause some supernatural stir in you to love me “like that”? Pfft.
You’re a good man, you deserve the best.
Ms Baiden: And you?
Kafui: Me… I’ve been broken, maybe too many times, but mother says she’s known me to handle pain well. Perhaps that’s my specialty, to experience it and handle it well.
Ms Baiden: You do well
Kafui: No I don’t. I don’t.
Ms Baiden: You do.
Kafui: How? Why?
Ms Baiden: I think you know how, and admitting it gives you no pain to hold on to. You like pain. You like pain because to you, it’s grounds on which you can find something hopeful to pursue.
Kafui: You don’t get to tell me that. That’s cold
Ms Baiden: That’s true.
Kafui: THAT IS NOT… /Mother enters/
Mother: Are you okay? Who were you talking to?
Kafui: I wasn’t talking to anyone.
Mother: Listen, I know this has been tough on you’re still young and…
Kafui: Stop it, Mother
Mother: …and there’s so much hope. You can remarry and have…
Kafui: Have what? C’mon Mother, they were only 10. All 3 had to go? All 3, really? Why did God…
Mother: Leave God out of this!
Kafui: /raising her voice/ Ok!! Ok!! I’ll leave Him out of this. But He was there several years ago when I… with the same man!!! He was there they came back and lived 10yrs with the man of my dreams!!
Mother: Kafui…
Kafui: He was there when during the crash, but decided to let me “handle the pain”, right?
Mother: /tears in her eyes/ O my daughter, I’m so sorry. I cannot assure you things will be the same after today, but trust God and they will be better. Sometimes… often, we have no idea how far our desires and decisions take us.
/a young man enters/
Mother: We’ll be out in 5, please.
/man steps out/
Mother: You know he loves you, right?
Kafui: Mother.
Mother: Give it a shot. He’s been there for you for a couple of years.
Kafui: Mother! My husband is gone, my triplets are dead. I’m not ready for any more drama.
Mother: I’m sorry.
/Steps out/
Ms Baiden: Finally some privacy. May we continue our session?
Kafui: No. You’re in my head, you’re not real.
Ms Baiden: I am what you cannot admit to yourself or to anyone else. I am reader than you ever know.
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